Egad, the infernal bloodsucking parasites have expanded their onslaught to include the city's cultural centers! One day after Sarah Jessica Parker, Natalie Portman and Jake Gyllenhaalattended a black-tie gala at the David H. Koch Theater theater in Lincoln Center, the theater's managing director sent an e-mail notifying employees that bedbugs had infested one of the dressing rooms. "Please understand that this is an epidemic," Heiser writes in the e-mail, which was obtained by the New York Observer. "Any signs of bedbug activity should not be considered a sign of an untidy house."

Is nothing sacred? The theater is currently dark, but ballet performances are scheduled to resume October 27th. Heiser's e-mail was sent on the 8th, and the New York City Ballet had been performing there through the 10th! Luckily for ballerinas, there's not much in their wraith-like bodies for bedbugs to sustain themselves on. But the theater is named after fat cat billionaire tea party financier David Koch, who's a huge ballet nut besides being the city's richest resident, so maybe they were able to hitch a ride on his coattails? We can dream.