Photo by Katie Sokoler

We recently took a look at Sidewalk Etiquette, without which incidents of Sidewalk Rage would likely skyrocket. Just kidding, there is no Sidewalk Etiquette, and everyone you walk by is probably having stabby thoughts about you and the way you carry yourself around town. Today the Wall Street Journal examines Sidewalk Rage, which is so real that one scientist developed a Pedestrian Aggressiveness Syndrome Scale! The scale maps out how people channel their rage—some start Facebook pages, others mutter, and some prefer a flash of "mean face." But the real gem of this article comes in the form of feet—finally, we know how slow tourists really walk. Let's go to the numbers:

  • Tourists walk 3.79 feet per second
  • Smokers: 4.17 feet per second
  • Cellphone users: 4.20 feet per second
  • Headphone listeners: 4.64 feet per second
  • Large pedestrians: 3.74 feet per second
  • Men: 4.42 feet per second
  • Women: 4.10 feet per second
  • People with bags: 4.27 feet per second

We're guessing Pedestrian Aggressiveness Syndrome flares up when it's raining and people insist on carrying giant umbrellas (mutter! mean face!), but it's nothing a few "denigrating thoughts" can't handle. Just bottle that Sidewalk Rage right up, fellow pedestrians!