It's summer now, which greatly increases the probability that you'll find yourself face-to-thorax with a giant cockroach. Or be awoken by one stumbling through you hair. The manner in which this happens is typically pretty straightforward—you caught one scrambling under your refrigerator, probably, or maybe you stumbled upon their many-legged orgies while commuting through midtown. But now (literally right now), a new roach acquisition option is emerging: mail order roach delivery from an enterprising teenager in Queens.

The above nightmare comes courtesy of Julien, a self-professed reptile-enthusiast, who is scrambling to get rid of his roach collection before he leaves later this weekend for Israel. Julien got the roaches come from a guy in Cape Cod, he tells Gothamist, as part of an ill-fated business venture offering people the opportunity to send roaches to their friends and enemies.

"I didn't market that so well, because I had a finals," Julien, 15, said. "And I just found out I'm moving overseas, so I need them gone, out of my house, now."

He has Turkistan, Lobster, and Orange-headed roaches, which are apparently different than the common household roach. They need a heat lamp to breed, for one, and taste much better to discerning reptiles.

Despite their desirability, Julien has thus far had no such luck offloading the colonies. "I thought there'd be people who jump on it. I mean, three full colonies for free, and still no takers."