Try not to breathe or move around outside for the next 24 hours or so. The Office of Emergency Management has announced that a heat advisory is in effect today through tomorrow night. Temperatures are expected to reach the low to mid-90s on Friday and Saturday, with a heat index of 95 or higher. The air also sucks—the DEC's forecast says that the air will be "Unhealthy for Sensitive Groups" through 10 p.m. tonight. Basically, you'll want to curl up into a ball under your desk and hide there until Monday. (A typical Friday at the office for us!)

The city's Cooling Centers will be open today if you need them (underage New Yorkers may want to wear a long white beard to gain access). Alternatively, you can cool off simply by loitering outside the open doors of a frigid retail store. And gentlemen, please remember: the no-flip flops advisory remains in full effect.