If your friends are teasing you at the brunch table for checking your phone right now, you should look up at their witless, tipsy grins with a grave face and deadpan: storm's a'brewin. The National Weather Service has issued a severe thunderstorm watch for the New York metropolitan area until 8 p.m. tonight, adding that we might see 70 mph winds and hail up to two inches in diameter.
A "watch" isn't quite a warning, but you might want to reconsider that 4 p.m. McCarren pool dip. And if you're struck with abnormally large hail or use it to tenderize that veal cutlet you're serving for your Newsroom party tonight (hail is God's way of saying "stop having goddamn Newsroom parties") remember the golden rule: pics or those cumulonimbi clouds never produced translucent ice pellets. Send your crazy thunderstorm photos or hail shots to email@example.com, or tag them Gothamist on Instagram or Flickr. After all, everyone loves hail porn.