Teenagers are a menace to society, and Halloween is 100 percent the best time to act out all the obnoxious teen angst that merely seeps out of blemished pores the rest of the year. Halloween is the embodiment of everything crappy about teendom: Too old to trick-or-treat, but too young to dress up as a slutty pickle and hit the party circuit, drinking alcoholic swill out of a dirty cooler and waking up covered in fake blood next to Justin Zombieber, who looked better before he threw up in your hamper.
This sign at a store on my street really conveys the problems they're anticipating tonight pic.twitter.com/GqSyAzB7hm
— Mauly KnEVIL (@mollyknefel) October 31, 2014
If you're a teen, your best bet for remaining the fixed center of universal disgust is by destroying property, typically achieved via eggs and shaving cream.
If you're a teen, you'd do well to just stay inside, turn on the TV and educate yourself on a world before James Franco turned into...this. Or for something even scarier, take a stroll through the dark and twisted world of our "teenagers" tag. Shudder.