Teenagers, already the lowest form of life on the planet, are at their absolute worst on Halloween. But we never knew their insufferable shenanigans were so deadly, too. The Times has reviewed newspaper accounts of Halloween deaths, and reports that since 1984 at least 24 people "have been seriously wounded or killed in stabbings, shootings, beatings or accidents sparked by egg-throwing confrontations around Halloween." Back in 1998, a data entry clerk was shot in the head by egg-tossing teens after he got out of his car to confront them. And in 2008 an egg-tossing teen tragically fell to his death off a roof when his target chased him.

Eggings are so out of control in Queens on Halloween that cops in some precincts ask merchants not to sell eggs or shaving cream to minors during Halloween week. And the Juniper Park Civic Association even distributes “No Eggs” posters to stores. But how can a civic association's boring old PSA possibly compete with the negative influence of teen idols like the Beastie Boys, who have recorded not one but two songs that glorify egg throwing as "cool" and "dope"? Here they are during a recent television appearance inciting impressionable youths with their controversial song "Egg Raid on Mojo" (It starts at the 5:35 mark.) Tipper Gore, we need you now more than ever.