Mary Lee hasn't called or written in ages, the ungrateful bitch, but that doesn't mean we're not glad to have her home. After a several month hiatus off the grid in Georgia and South Carolina, we're happy to report that the 3,500 pound, 16-foot Great White is currently off the coast of New Jersey's Long Beach Island. I'm sure she'll head up to see us when she runs out of money, as usual.

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The group OCEARCH first tagged Mary Lee in 2012, since which time the peripatetic predator (that one's free, tabloids) traveled more than 24,000 miles. She first appeared on our radar in January of 2013, but was a regular visitor to our waters this summer, where she proceeded to slay exactly none of our pets or children, as predicted.

Welcome back, Mary Lee. Stay as long as you want, by which I mean, until your visit cuts into swim season and then uh...let's find you an Airbnb in Aruba, or something.