Well, here it is—despite constant reassurance from Big Cell Phone and, I don't know, Breitbart that your iPhone is not birthing any evil cancer cells in your brain, a major government-sponsored study just found that there is likely a connection between cell phone use and cancerous tumors in the brain and heart. Not that any of us are going to stop using our phones, of course, but at least you have another thing to text your online therapist about.
The $25 million peer-reviewed study was conducted by the National Toxicology Program over two-and-a-half years, and found that male rats exposed to the same radio-frequency (RF) radiation emitted by our cell phones were significantly more likely to develop a brain cancer called "glioma," as well as a malignant heart tumor called "schwannoma." Both of these cancers are otherwise rare.
A report of partial findings was released yesterday, and though the National Institutes of Health, which helped oversee the study, noted earlier this week that previous studies have found " limited evidence" of increased cancer risk from cell phones, it's clear this revelation is a big deal. "Where people were saying there’s no risk, I think this ends that kind of statement,” Ron Melnick, who ran the NTP project until 2009 and was one of the study's peer-reviewers, told the Wall Street Journal.
The study's findings aren't necessarily prophetic for you, since health impacts on rats don't directly translate in humans, and researchers say they'll be conducting more experiments to see if they can clarify the link. Still, though your mother was wrong about standing in front of a microwave, she might have been right about putting your phone up to your ear.
Of course, it's pretty doubtful that this study will make us toss our phones, since at this point an iPhone is pretty much like a third hand—a recent study found that Americans spend an average of five hours a day on their phones, and it's unclear whether today's younger generations are even aware things cannot be swiped away IRL. And President Trump will probably nuke us before the cancers can, so it should all work out in the end.