This trek to Yuriatin of a winter has turned the city into one giant tar pit, littering streets and highways with human-sized potholes just itching to punch out your car's tires and break your bike. Luckily, Mayor de Blasio is ON IT, launching a "weekly pothole blitz" that, by the looks of today's photo opp, will involve him personally filling each and every pothole on your block.
Today, both de Blasio and DOT Commissioner Polly Trottenberg headed to Queens to announce the initiative, which will send 50 crews out to patch up potholes city-wide every weekend. The DOT, which has reportedly filled a "record-breaking" 113,131 potholes this year, will also work on repaving particularly pothole-prone streets and coming up with new roadway materials that can hold up against seasonal wear-and-tear.
And since de Blasio is nothing if not a Man of the People, he had a roadway maintenance crew show him how to fill a hole himself while conveniently positioned near a few errant cameras. "Well, I’ve gotten a valuable lesson today. A new career path has opened up to me," he joked, though those job skills may come in handy if the pitchfork-wielding weathermen and Upper East Siders have their way.
Potholes, if you were wondering, are really just convenient portals to the center of the Earth, perfect for embarking on a battle with the demons that live below. By filling them, we are simply ensuring that Brendan Frasier lives another day.