According to the Post, Al Qaeda operatives tried to use dogs as their own kamikaze weapons against America in 2008, by surgically implanting explosives and detonators inside two stray dogs. We should be grateful for two things: that they sucked so much at stitching, the plan was nixed; and that the only thing that is explosive about our dogs is their poop. So in light of this dastardly doggy terror plot that-almost-was, let's appreciate the relative ease of dealing with our occasionally poop-filled sidewalks.

And it really is getting better, too! Since 2008, when the city increased pooper scooper fines to $250 from $100, the amount of people hit with fines has decreased by almost 50 percent. There were 510 fines this past fiscal year, compared to 909 in 2008. Glendale, Queens had the most popper scooper violations with 41, while Washington Heights was the worst offender in Manhattan. The shittiest borough was the Bronx, which had 202 violations last year, down 44 percent from two years ago. Many blamed the lack of garbage cans in the neighborhoods for the violations. But some irate residents can't see the forest for the trees: "I can't enjoy my walk. It's full of landmines of dog shit...I love dogs, but when I see crap on the sidewalk, I don't see the dog. I see the owner."