News flash: It's winter and it's COLD :( But while previous seasons have shivered by without anything to distinguish one boring cold snap from the next, this year the freezing weather has a sexxxy new name: The Polar Vortex. Earlier this month the celebrity weather pattern brought truly incredible low temperatures to a vast swath of the midwest, and even gave New Yorkers something else to bitch about for five minutes. Now we'll get to do it all over again, starting next week! From the expert scaremongers at AccuWeather:

During the third and fourth weeks of January, some changes will take place. The high amplitude pattern is forecast to get more extreme. The polar vortex will move farther south and get stronger. The pattern will gradually change the current mixture of Pacific and Arctic air in the Canada Prairies and the North Central U.S. to all Arctic air. The air will get significantly colder over the Canada Prairies and the much of the eastern half of the nation as a result.

The pattern has the potential to produce days of near- to below-zero cold from the northern Plains to parts of the Midwest, more lasting cold in the Northeast and noteworthy episodes of cold over the interior South.

Since the path of the bitterly cold air will be first directed over the North Central states, the cold will not be quite as severe by the time it reaches the Northeast, similar to that of early January. Prior to and during the main push of the coldest air later in the month in the East, there may be a large storm or two.

Pol-Vor is currently biding its time around Hudson Bay and northern Quebec, Canada. As Gothamist meteorologist Joe Schumacher previously explained, the frigid air mass typically spends the winter north of Baffin Bay or over Siberia. But a trough in the jet stream allowed it to slip loose and head our way, ultimately causing numerous burns from boiling water carelessly tossed into the air for YouTube. WORTH IT.

Stay tuned for 5 million more blog posts about the Polar Vortex between now and the end of January. Send us your best fake videos of bros pissing steam!