Clearly not satisfied with just $10,000 for the unwitting "borrowing" of her fur coat, a Columbia student has sued starlet Lindsay Lohan for "unspecified damages," citing Lohan's "intentional, oppressive and malicious" actions.

Masha Markova took the story of her beloved mink being (1) taken from the communal coat bin at exclusive nightclub 1Oak and (2) spotted on Lohan in a gossip magazine to the Post two weeks ago. While 1Oak originally didn't get back to Markova about her missing coat for days, the club did respond with the fur in question after Markova's lawyer contacted Lohan's lawyer.

While everyone would love a juicy court fight where the plaintiff explains how she's been "injured by the defendant's actions" (the worrying that the coat, a gift from a grandmother, was gone!), one would think Lohan would settle to avoid an embarrassing public spectacle.

Actually, maybe Markova would want a settlement, too, since PETA protesters will probably turn out for a civil lawsuit--check out this letter from PETA vice president Dan Winters:

To: Masha Markova, c/o Merrill Cohen

Dear Ms. Markova,

We at PETA have read with interest about your distress over Lindsay Lohan supposedly stealing your fur coat. Has it ever occurred to you that neither you nor Lindsay are the rightful owners? That coat belonged to dozens of animals who were electrocuted, gassed, strangled, drowned or beaten to death just so you could try to appear wealthy. Ms. Markova, people who wear fur simply show that having money and style don’t go hand in hand.

Please take 5 minutes to watch this video, hosted by former fur wearer Martha Stewart, who had a change of heart about wearing real fur when she saw what the animals go through. Perhaps you, too, will find your conscience and consider donating your fur coat to PETA, as have Mariah Carey, Kim Cattrall, and hundreds of others who don’t want animals to be fashion victims. We give them to the homeless, and you would even receive a tax credit for the donation. We look forward to your reply.

Dan Mathews