We receive a lot of e-mail. Most of these missives are carefully read, discussed at length among the editors, and courteously replied to in a timely fashion—except for the ones that are so bizarre and irrelevant that we're simply afraid to engage the sender. Instead, we'll share them with you. Behold, the eccentric underbelly of the Gothamist inbox:

Herman Cain's distinguished campaign for President of the United States officially ended yesterday, but one could point to many other signs of its futility: when Cain was unaware that China had a nuclear weapon, or when he proposed building an electric fence on the Mexican border, or any other time he said anything, ever.

But as was the case with some fans of Dr. Ron Paul, one reader took offense to our characterization of Herman Cain's press conference.

Well, Chris, having read your snarky little attempt at journalism re: Herman Cain, a man of great Southern quality, I can safely say that you are living in the right part of the nation for people unable to find legitimization in the South, and you deserve a place in the great homeless drug filled streets of Manhattan, working the after hour bars off 42nd street or doing a Midnite Cowboy act near Washington Square. I assure you we are pleased you have found a place away from our redneck haven and magnolia trees and hope you are able to keep from getting genital herpes, HIV, or other std inflictions.

"Southern quality?" Are we talking about bourbon or Herman Cain? Granted, Cain is an intoxicating man, and there were rumors that he'd choose Rep. Ginger Ale as his running mate. Plus, you turn to both of them in times of sorrow and financial need—wait, is Herman Cain about to launch his own liquor brand?

As for sexually transmitted infections, we'd refer you to the words of Herman Cain's own attorney, Lin Wood: "No individual, whether a private citizen, a candidate for public office or a public official, should be questioned about his or her private sexual life." Also, we had to move our One-Man Midnight Cowboy Revue: Cyber Stirrups Edition from Washington Square Park because we couldn't afford the citations.

Herman is a fine person. You, clearly are not. When a white boy takes cracks at a conservative black man who made himself successful from nothing as a background, and is a candidate for president of the United States of American, with no help at all, and the white boy is emotionally run out of the south to go be with the drudge hack writers in the City....I can understand why this nation has a racial problem....white elites have replaced jim crow rednecks....same attitudes and behavior.

Well, he didn't do it all himself. Americans for Prosperity and the Koch brothers helped. Guess where they live? And your theory about the country's "racial problem" is intriguing. Have you considered running for president?

Be careful crossing the streets, the muslim taxi drivers hate southern yankee wannabes.

Not as much as they hate fares to Brooklyn! If you ever catch a break from acting as the voice of Foghorn Leghorn, do visit the city. It's a magical place (to do drugs and catch STDs).