John Kerry dumped his campaign manager today ("How am I trailing a crazy Vermont doctor?") in an attempt to reenergize his campaign. It's been suggested to Gothamist that Kerry's lack of success is due to the fact it looks like his face is melting, so we'll go a step further by calling Kerry the Shar-Pei of the Democratic hopefuls, appearing "independent, snobbish, and standoffish with strangers."