Good Friday afternoon in New York City, where the crosstown bus (M14) is a proven venue for meeting your future spouse. Here's what's happening:

  • The Manhattan DA apparently failed to get Trump Organization CFO Allen Weisselberg to inform on Donald Trump himself because Weisselberg really wanted to avoid prison but prosecutors weren't into it, said he refused to cooperate, pleaded guilty to 15 counts of tax fraud, and now faces as few as 100 days behind bars.
  • A Queens EMT faces four years in prison for stealing a 79-year-old woman's debit card during an ambulance call and using it to do his laundry at a laundromat, buy champagne and go to a Buffalo Wild Wings.
  • New York City public school teachers are concerned that the Department of Education hasn't given them any guidance on monkeypox mitigation, which is theoretically a concern given that kids are constantly biting and scratching each other.
  • The New York Daily News' union is blaming the paper's owners, hedge fund Alden Global Capital, for making the newsroom a miserable place to work and ultimately driving a mass exodus of staffers.
  • Therapists told The Guardian that Gen Z's focus on social justice, virtuous striving, health and sobriety has made them overly cautious and they're missing out on crucial life experiences.
  • Speaking of sober people, the guys from Creedence Clearwater Revival apparently resent the fact that because they were in stable marriages and didn't perform drunk during their heyday, they never got the same love as The Beatles.
  • Unfortunately, it seems that coffee and greasy food are not good for a hangover, and what you really need to do is drink water and eat fruits, vegetables and boring carbs like oats.
  • Happy 15th birthday to Superbad.
  • Elijah Wood is joining the cast of Yellowjackets for season 2.
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  • And finally, sneaky duck: