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- Bill Maher continues to just be a huge idiot, somehow doesn't know that an "Obama as Julius Caesar" play actually was put on and no one cared.
- Milwaukee Sheriff David Clarke wound up declining that position the Department of Homeland Security offered to him.
- Beyoncé has given birth to twins, but the actual facts of the births are shrouded in mystery.
- James Comey is out in the world, being tall and dancing at a wedding. Someone ask Louise Mensch and Claude Taylor what this means for the Russia investigation.
- Atari is making some kind of new console, in case an entertainer president under Congressional investigation wasn't enough of a throwback to the 80s for you.
- Satanic graffiti was found sprayed on a number of Long Island churches this weekend.
- World's worst landlord tells his tenants they can't use the stairs and instead have to use the fire escape while he's making repairs.
- Never forget how incredibly messed up the Cars universe is, if you really stop to think about it for a minute.
- And finally, it's unkind, it's the curse of love, it rips your heart, and makes you wanna die:
Extra Extra: Satanic Panic On Long Island
Scott Lynch/Gothamist