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- Nine people have tested positive for coronavirus at the Georgia school where the infamous viral photo showed a hallway packed with students.
- The largest earthquake to happen in North Carolina since 1916 rocked the Raleigh region this morning.
- "America's Got Talent" judge Simon Cowell broke his back in a fall of an e-bike in the courtyard of his Malibu home.
- The NY Times examines evangelical Christians' enduring support for Trump in a story full of quotes like, “Mike Pence is a wonderful gentleman, I’d say he is like the very supportive, submissive wife to Trump."
- A New Jersey restaurant owner was too amazed by a rare blue lobster to serve it to his guests, so he's donating it to an aquarium. Sorry, basic lobsters.
- The New Yorker contemplates the "addictive joy of watching someone listen to Phil Collins."
- Faster testing is crucial to controlling the spread of coronavirus, but manufacturers of rapid antigen tests say they're nowhere near being able to meet the demand.
- And finally, may the orcas be the wind in your sails, bruh:

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