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- Park Slope resident Patrick Stewart tells Vulture he is pumped about Barclays Center: “You are not going to hear me complain," he said (despite having just complained about the traffic), "because I am a sports fan and it now means that I can watch the Nets."
- Anonymous 4Chan trolls tricked a bunch of Beliebers into thinking their hero had leukemia..and some of them shaved their heads
- Behold the greatest synopsis for The Wizard Of Oz ever.
- What a bummer: NYC will no longer get a print edition of The Onion.
- The GOP is freaking out about Lena Dunham's naughty campaign ad for Obama.
- Queens subway slasher gets two years in prison for slashing three straphangers.
- Georgia family posts Craigslist ad saying "free yard sale"...and came home to find people had literally taken all their possessions.
- Cops: If you have an affair with a murder suspect and lie about it, you'll be fired.
- An officer with the Royal Canadian Mounted Police was injured after being charged by two bull moose: "Both the culprit and accomplice departed the area on hoof," the RCMP said in a statement.
- Judge to NJ couple: pay your doggy fines, or your dogs could die.
- And finally, here's a god damn dog dunking a god damn basketball:

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