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- Hmm, why are venture capitalists suddenly pouring money into astrology?
- Jack Dorsey doesn't understand what people enjoy about Twitter, wants to ruin that.
- Some of the more than one dozen current and former White House officials who cooperated with special counsel Robert Mueller are worried that the version of his report being released will expose them as the source of damaging information about Trump.
- Spending less than $100, the NY Times was able to legally use a public camera and turn it into a facial recognition machine.
- Meanwhile, a hitman posing as a delivery driver tried to kill a woman with a high-powered crossbow.
- A New Jersey prep academy took a debate loss to an Upper East Side school so hard that it allegedly scapegoated its top debater, with allegations that he double-crossed his teammates to help the rivals win—now the teen’s parents are suing the school.
- Be careful out there, for the night is dark and full of Avengers: Endgame spoilers. (Note: that link isn't to the leaks, but to an article about the leaks.)
- Headline of the day: "Couple rescued from crocodile swamp after writing ‘Help’ in mud."
- Is Olive Garden the perfect place for first dates?
- Hashtag shiplap: Chip and Joanna Gaines are being partly blamed for the thefts of Kentucky barns.
- And finally, this shit so sweet it'll give you a cavity:
My heart is melting ❤️ pic.twitter.com/4drVzi8VdW
— puppybowl (@puppybol) April 16, 2019