Extra, Extra: Mom Calls Cops On Son For Eating Her Pop Tarts

by Ben Yakas

Published May 23, 2013

Modified May 23, 2013

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Sex doesn't sell according to The Economist, even though that is completely not true.
The taxi magnate that Mayor Bloomberg allegedly vowed to destroy is suing Hizzoner for threatening him.
Chuck Norris is still a Tebow fan.
Mom has son arrested for eating Pop Tarts without permission.
Check out 53 hidden Arrested Development jokes.
It's all fun and games until someone takes a bite out of their spouse's penis.
Obama was heckled about drones during his big Guantanamo speech.
Breaking Bad isn't just a show: A Massachusetts teacher who has stage III cancer has been arrested for trafficking methamphetamine.
Carmelo Anthony has a small left shoulder tear, because of course he's been playing hurt for weeks.
An Ohio woman named Dr. Unk is facing drunk driving charges after she slammed into a bicyclist while driving with a blood alcohol level twice the legal limit.
Cat bearding is the hot new thing on the internet.
And finally, here's a very sweet helper monkey: