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- Happy Birthday, Barack! We know it's your birthday because we got like 100 emails asking for donations.
- Michael Phelps won his record 18th gold medal to end his Olympic career today.
- Everything you've never wanted to know about Alfred Hitchcock's “evil, deviant” on-set sexual harassment.
- Better get to know the man behind the moustache: subway artist Moustache Man.
- Two Brooklyn men have been accused of setting fire to a Bay Ridge home in order to cover up burglary.
- AV Club took a visit to Robert Zimmerman's hometown, Hibbing, Minnesota.
- Two Bronx beaches were shut down today over bacteria contamination fears.
- Some people are upset about a fake photo in satirical newspaper The Onion. But do they think it's literally unbelievable?
- “Hookers and strippers [here] don’t really surprise me, but I’m furious to hear they’ve been serving me cheap booze,” said a member of a Long Island country club dealing with a hooker scandal.
- And finally, we don't always find raccoons cute, but that's just because they aren't usually begging this adorably:
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