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- An inebriated woman allegedly tried to steal a police car—with two officers still inside.
- Here's your Lil Bub longread of the weekend.
- A man participating in today's Triathlon suffered a heart attack in the Hudson River—but was miraculously revived by rescuers.
- An Amtrak train left DC for NYC without any passengers, an aimless vessel on an unknown journey, like so much dust in the wind.
- A Medical Examiner details the many weird ways to die in NYC, including cats who will eat dead bodies.
- A man allegedly went into a frenzy and tried to kill his roommate all because she ate three cookies for breakfast.
- Go inside the secret lives of the Times Square costumed characters.
- A Mets fan fell onto the warning track before a game, because LOL Mets.
- This NJ carpenter specializes in "concealment furniture"—ya know, for your guns.
- Logic 101: if you dropped your phone in a pond, you'd drain the pond to get it back, right?
- And finally, this is an important compilation of videos of sleeping, snore-happy pugs:
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