Good evening. It's Thursday in New York City, where apartments are getting slightly bigger. Here's what else is happening:

  • MTA Chair Janno Lieber wants the transit agency to be able to ban repeat criminal offenders (whose crimes are subway-related) from entering the system.
  • "They have bad taste but tons of money and buy all this really expensive stuff that ends up looking like shit," explained a New York City contractor who works on rich people's renovations.
  • Based on what Crain's reporter Aaron Elstein told WNYC, New York City could solve its problem of not having nearly enough public restrooms if someone were to invent a lavatory that's both self-cleaning and emits a blue light that effectively prevents intravenous drug use by making it impossible to find a vein.
  • Gov. Kathy Hochul said yesterday that going to the office five days a week is probably a thing of the past, and employers should shoot for getting their workers in the office three or four days a week.
  • The Transportation Security Administration in Buffalo yesterday removed a Jet Blue pilot from the plane before it took off for Fort Lauderdale because they suspected he was drunk. He later told the authorities that he had "seven to eight drinks" before getting on the aircraft.
  • U.S. Rep. Van Taylor, a Republican from Texas, has dropped out of his reelection bid after admitting he was having an affair with the widow of an ISIS recruiter.
  • The Wall Street Journal warns that just because you're not in the office doesn't mean your coworkers haven't secretly started hooking up with each other.
  • According to science, practicing mindfulness can make you a worse person by lulling you into not feeling guilty for being selfish or mean.
  • I haven't read Heather Havrilesky's new memoir, but perhaps neither have the newspapers and TV shows that are (mis)characterizing it as a book that details how she hates her husband.
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  • And finally, boooiiinnnngggg: