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- There are bad drug trips, and then there are Molly-induced masturbatory rampages.
- An upstate NY man had to spend $20K just to get crappy internet service from Time Warner.
- The New Yorker writes about comedian Tig Notaro's topless set.
- Ben Carson is the first declared candidate for 2016.
- What's the deal with Jerry Seinfeld saying he might be on the autism scale?
- A woman died after a cannibal ate her face in England.
- A horse got a chance to say goodbye to its owner.
- A drunk woman reportedly broke into somebody's home because she wanted a hug.
- A Williamsburg pizzeria owner used a drone to deliver pies.
- NY Times reporter freaked out by homeless people.
- And finally, dress up your dog like a teddy bear, just do it:
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