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  • A Texas court has ruled Alex Jones can't avoid being sued into oblivion by the Sandy Hook families he’s terrorized for years, saying he can’t hide behind the First Amendment to dodge defamation lawsuits over his repeated claims that the massacre was a hoax.
  • This sounds like a page from the last election’s playbook: Amazon wants to require the 6,000 workers at an Alabama warehouse seeking to unionize to vote in person, after the National Labor Relations Board ruled the vote can be held by mail because you know, there’s a pandemic going on. According to the Verge, “Amazon’s argument is that mail-in voting decreases voter turnout. It says the NLRB looked at the wrong COVID-19 infection data when determining how to hold the vote, using the positivity rate in Jefferson County, where the warehouse is located, rather than the positivity rate at the warehouse itself.”
  • Arkansas Senator Tom Cotton took a two-month small-unit infantry course that had the word “Ranger” in the title and now calls himself an Army Ranger.
  • The Dublin City Council is mulling a proposal for a plaque to honor Violet Gibson, a local resident who tried to assassinate Italian dictator Benito Mussolini in 1926 and wounded his nose.
  • Legendary TV host Larry King died Saturday at the age of 87 after being hospitalized with COVID-19 last month. He had the purest Twitter strategy ever, as the Washington Post revealed in this 2015 profile: “When Larry King wants to tweet, he doesn’t log onto the Internet. He pops open the flip phone stored in the shirt pocket between his suspender straps and calls the number for a voicemail set up specifically for this purpose. Then he dictates a thought that will be picked up by an assistant and transcribed onto his @KingsThings Twitter account. And nearly 2.6 million followers are there to receive it.”
  • Microsoft has received a patent to build chatbots of dead people using their “images, voice data, social media posts, electronic messages” and more.
  • Gaze upon these examples of exquisite penmanship and curse your foul chicken scratch on this National Handwriting Day.
  • And finally, gather ye owlets in ye owl bucket: