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- Bill Clinton really knows how to troll: "Old Moderate Mitt, where ya been, boy? I missed you all these last few years."
- President Obama thinks he was just "too polite" during the first debate.
- A 13-year-old has been charged with killing his paternal grandparents after they allegedly called his mom a whore.
- "Vice President Joe Biden" will live tweet tomorrow's debate on @OnionPolitics.
- The Descendants actress Shailene Woodley is in talks to join The Amazing Spider-Man 2 as Mary Jane Watson.
- A nanny is battling the Brooklyn Public Library over their porn policy.
- Bronx Science gets another Nobel Prize it can brag about.
- Very sexy costume idea for very sexy people: Sexytime Bert and Ernie.
- Retired Chicago cop fatally shoots son thinking he was an intruder.
- The New York Times is bringing in an outside mediator in attempt to settling a bitter labor dispute with the newsroom.
- So it begins: soda companies will begin displaying their drinks' calories on vending machines next year.
- And finally, check out this surreal and hilarious bad lip reading of last week's presidential debate, that is infinitely more interesting and fun than the original:
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