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- President Donald Trump announced in a tweet that he will "no longer deal with" UK Ambassador Sir Kim Darroch after the latter described our petulant leader as "radiating insecurity."
- Some have suggested that the charges against alleged pedophile predator, Jeffrey Epstein, could also shift scrutiny onto the billionaire sex offender's wealthy friends.
- Duchess of Sussex Kate Middleton made you a bespoke log, for cloud-gazing.
- Meanwhile, on Long Island, a horse took itself to the Old Town Road, i.e. the Sunrise Highway. Isn't that nice?
- A beautiful, marigold-colored bird rescued by—I kid you not—the Tiggywinkles Wildlife Hospital in Buckinghamshire, England turned out not to be a wonderfully exotic specimen, but rather, a seagull thickly coated in curry power. Save for his "vibrant color and pungent smell," he is reportedly fine.
- Congrats, you're now haunted by this Potato Jesus-style statue of Melania Trump, newly chainsawed into existence in Slovenia.
- A Texas woman was banned from a Walmart after consuming half a cake while shopping, and then refusing to pay more than half its price at checkout.
- A new lawsuit accuses a fertility clinic of impregnating a Queens woman with embryos from two different couples, resulting in twins the woman had to give back to their biological parents.
- And finally, in conclusion, here's some throwback footage of Snowball the Dancing Cockatoo, who—according to science—has 14 distinctly bitchin' moves in his groove repertoire. Congrats, Snowball, we're all very proud.
Published Jul 8, 2019
Modified Jul 8, 2019
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