Extra, Extra: Baby Polar Bears Really Are The Cutest Things Ever

by Ben Yakas

Published December 22, 2011

Modified December 22, 2011

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Um, meet the world champion of masturbation. His girlfriend seems very patient.
A new Christmas song, “Woody Allen Jesus,” was too hot for TV.
Chris Christie is leaving door open to be VP, if someone wants him.
An eight-year-old girl who was swept away in the Indian Ocean tsunami seven years ago has been found alive.
Now this is a story all about how/My life got flipped, turned upside/And I'd like to take a minute just sit right there/I'll tell you how I ended up reuniting with my former castmates from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.
Occupy Albany, one of the last remaining Occupy encampments, has been dispersed.
Here's how you calm down a baby: UOK UOK UOK UOK.
Gay community hilariously apologizes for ruining Minnesota State Senator’s marriage.
Guess the maximum amount of time most people will wait for a table at a no-reservations restaurant.
Here's a cute time lapse of Central Park.
Sure they sent out joint holiday cards, but when are Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux getting married already?
And finally, everything seems alright when there's video of a baby polar bear stretching in its sleep.