Ladies: are you curious about online dating but too shy to meet anyone before 2013? Do you enjoy the idea of pinstripes as a metaphor for prison bars? Well, inmate #57431-053 AKA Ray Angeloff would love to meet you, as soon as he's paroled from his federal money laundering charges. Angeloff was sentenced in 2009 to five years in prison for posing as a legitimate Wall Street trader and swindling thousands of investors out of at least $3.5 million. While he's at a low-security wing of a Florida prison, he's looking for love online at

Angeloff, now 52, notes that he hasn't always been in this "situation." He was "once on top of the word," and plans to be "king of the mountain again soon." Speaking of that, Angeloff has some excellent inside tips on a stellar investment strategy that he'd like to tell you about over an episode of his favorite TV show, Rescue Me. Oh, that went off the air this year? You'll have to forgive Angeloff, HE'S IN PRISON.

If you don't think you can adhere to his "3 core values" of "Loyalty, Ambition, and having an honest heart," there's always his brother Mike: he's a free man, after only being sentenced to 48 months as an accomplice.