The troubled elder Skywalker who robbed a Long Island bank Thursday morning really was allied with the evil empire—just not in a galaxy far, far away. The robber allegedly threw a Yankees drawstring backpack at the teller and demanded that she fill it with money. Finally, stone cold proof!
It also turns out that the bystander who allegedly tried to hug the Dark Lord was really trying to take him down. A witness told the Post that the man attempted to reason with Vader, telling him to "stop playing around." But he apparently didn't know the power of the dark side, as Vader pulled out a gun and said, "I will shoot you in the face! This is not a joke!" The threat didn't come from the ominous James Earl Jones voice associated with the character, but a voice that sounded more like a "squeaky teenager." Can you think of anyone else who would own a full Darth Vader costume?
The string of quirky robberies this week has officials warning again that banks are too welcoming, with open space and comfy couches making robbers feel like there is less security. But Michael Smith, president of the New York Bankers Association, says they are making strides. He told the Daily News, "The fact that [in some banks] you cannot see the security so blatantly does not mean it's not there. There are numerous surveillance cameras recording footage from the minute you walk into the branch." However, cops have yet to nab Vader, who by now must be on his way to ComicCon.