I have already sweat through this T-shirt I'm wearing, but do NOT BE FOOLED by the beautiful weather outside. Happiness and warmth are fleeting, but snow and sadness is eternal, or so this weekend's weather suggests. We've warned you once and we'll warn you again—A POLAR VORTEX approaches, complete with near-freezing temperatures and, at least according to the little icon thingy on my phone's weather app, SNOW.

According to Accuweather, today's high is 70 and the warmth will stick around tomorrow, though we've got rain and thunderstorms on the horizon. But Saturday will dip into the mid-50s, and Sunday's going to be 46 DEGREES, with a terribly sad low of 31—Monday's temperatures look similar, but with the possibility of rain.

AND THINGS LOOK EVEN WORSE NEXT WEEK. Tuesday's low looks like it'll hover around 26 degrees, which is a very mean thing for April to do to all those beautiful flowers that are currently living on the trees. It seems that today and tomorrow are mere teasers for weather that will never come to us, for we have Killed The Earth and invented Rainbow Bagels and now our Punisher arrives.

As for that possibility of snow, the Post reports that flurries'll be restricted to areas north of the city, but The Weather Channel is still threatening some snow showers. I'll wait a minute while you scream into the back of your desk chair.

Note that THE FUN BEGINS TONIGHT—there's a possibility of rain showers during the evening commute, which could be bad news bears for all that free Bernie ice cream :(

Ah well, only a few months until the crippling heat sets in!