Today is the day before the day LeBron James will become a free agent, and eventually crush the spirits of at least one or two major metropolitan cities. It doesn't take much to see that the problems of one 6'8" advertising machine does amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world, but at least one billionaire NYer gets it: Mayor Bloomberg made one last LeBron push today, telling the superstar that celebrities aren't bothered much in NYC, and he could enjoy a normal private life here (though even the Mayor succumbed to an eating disorder).

The Daily News, meanwhile, is having a schizophrenic moment dealing with all this change; they seem to be trying to get some perspective/distance by claiming LeBron James is no Kobe Bryant, while also going apartment hunting on his behalf! Their real estate suggestions include the DUMBO Clocktower apartment where Brooklyn Paper editor Gersh Kuntzman once did the proverbial dance with the devil in the pale moonlight.

But lest you think the News is the only real estate broker in town, LeBron, Halstead Property is also here to service your needs! The real estate brokerage has created a website and promotional video (starring nostalgic former Knick John Starks!) called "Every King Needs a Castle," in which they offer to find a NY home for LeBron, and also donate their commission to his favorite charity. You can see the full, stilted recruitment video below.