Ambulatory Cheeto Donald Trump is a racist, sexist hypocrite with a stupid haircut and a stupid base of supporters, but at least there's something noxiously charming about his particular brand of nonsense and bigotry. He's a guy we all enjoy hating! And nothing jars that into perspective more than putting Trump on the same screen as aspiring QVC host Sarah Palin. Go ahead and make some popcorn, because this handjob of an interview isn't going anywhere.
There are a lot of things to enjoy about this video, in which Palin "interviews" Trump on her "news" network: the fact that Trump is slightly out-of-focus the entire time, the fact that Trump's unnatural camouflage makes him nearly impossible to distinguish from the yellow-tinted Trump mall in the background, the fact that Trump took this opportunity to plug his daughter's business (look over his left shoulder), or the fact that Palin clearly looked up the definition of "avant-garde" before her opening monologue:
I've said it, since the day he made the sacrifice to hit the campaign trail: voters crave the anti-status quo politician. They want results. They need a fighter. They need someone to fire all those political correct police. And this is a movement. Trumpeters. Trumpservatives, what these folks are called. Everything about Donald Trump's campaign. It's avant-garde.
One thing that is not enjoyable however? The crimes against the English language committed during this nonsense. That platitudinal pile of words above represents, sadly, one of the more coherent things said during the 10 minute interview. Palin seems to think an interview is really just a competition to see who can say "gotchas," "lamestream," and "freedom" more. Her's is a world in which every journalist is a radical political activist hater who needs to be "schooled" with "guts." Even Trump seemed confused by her at times.
There are a few parts in that interview where Trump is listening to Palin’s questions and clearly thinking “this is word salad"
— Ben Dreyfuss (@bendreyfuss) August 29, 2015
Lest Palin's loathsome attempts at communication start to make you feel a twinge of sympathy for Trump—after all, at least he isn't her—Trump was up to his usual blustery rhetoric at a Boston rally yesterday, woefully mispronouncing Hillary Clinton advisor Huma Abedin's name ("Ooma"). The Hill reports on Trump's impeccable logic skills:
“And who is Huma married to?” Trump asked. “One of the great sleazebags of our time, Anthony Weiner.”
The businessman then mimicked typing on a cell phone and said in a mocking tone, “I love you very much.” It was a reference to Weiner’s admission that he repeatedly sent and received sexually explicit material via Twitter and texting. The scandal cost him his seat in the House of Representatives.
Trump noted that he “knew him before they caught him with the —“ he trailed off, again mimicking typing on a phone.
“And he was a bad guy then; it turns out that he was a really bad guy,” he added.
“So Huma is getting classified secrets,” Trump said. “She’s married to Anthony Wiener, who’s a perv. No, he is!”
“Do you think there’s even a five percent chance that she’s not telling Anthony Weiner … what the hell is coming across?”
Yes, Weiner is a perv for sexting with other women, whereas Trump is an upstanding citizen whose wife found out about his affair when his mistress was on the cover of the Post gushing about their sex life.