Whenever catastrophe strikes—whether it is a massive hurricane, the rapture, or 9/11 of brands—Twitter has a unique role in providing some much-needed levity (along with generous helpings of the usual misogyny, casual racism, and general human depravity). With a form of Ebola hysteria (really, Ebola media hysteria) gripping the city today, some hysterical Ebola Tweets are greatly appreciated. Every disease gets the gallows humor it deserves: below, check out some favorites.
Ebola's mother is like, "A doctor!"
— Josh Comers (@joshcomers) October 24, 2014
— Chris C. (@CubedLink) October 24, 2014
i wonder what biggie would have rhymed with ebola
— lauren ashley bishop (@sbellelauren) October 24, 2014
I obviously don't want to get Ebola and I obviously hope no one gets Ebola but there would be something funny about all of us getting Ebola.
— Ben Dreyfuss (@bendreyfuss) October 24, 2014
maybe all the bowling alley workers worried about Ebola will go on strike tomorrow
— Tim Donnelly (@timdonnelly) October 24, 2014
#Ebola has gone completely viral despite only 4 hits in the US.
— Keegan Stephan (@KeeganNYC) October 24, 2014
EBOLA VS CHOBANI WHO WILL WIN
— billy eichner (@billyeichner) October 24, 2014
100% New York:
EBoLa does sound like a hot NYC neighborhood. East of Bowery and LaFayette?
— Alex Baze (@bazecraze) October 24, 2014
— Zach Seward (@zseward) October 24, 2014
Is it too soon to wonder if Ebola will affect real estate prices in NYC
— Jessica Pressler (@jpressler) October 24, 2014
I want Ebola to write a leaving New York think piece.
— Alex Abad-Santos (@alex_abads) October 24, 2014
Post-ebola New York a grim place. Line at the coffee and bagel cart outside the office was almost twice as long as usual.
— Ali-Son of Dracula (@alisonwillmore) October 24, 2014
I don't even wanna know what Uber's NYC surge pricing is during an Ebola outbreak.
— lawblob (@lawblob) October 24, 2014
Ironic bowlers are the true victims of NYC's Ebola "outbreak."
— Alexander Nazaryan (@alexnazaryan) October 24, 2014
EBoLa could be the name of an obnoxious Manhattan neighborhood.
— Scott Bixby (@scottbix) October 24, 2014
Pretty glad Rudy Giuliani is not the mayor in the era of Ebola.
— Lauren Collins (@laurenzcollins) October 24, 2014
Just back from its global tour, Ebola opens in NYC to full-on raves! All singing! All dancing! Catch it if you can! Only in NY, kids...
— Peter Ames Carlin (@peteramescarlin) October 24, 2014
You have your de Blasio yuks:
"Somebody get me the Ghostbusters." pic.twitter.com/OUhxYVG5kH
— Igor Bobic (@igorbobic) October 24, 2014
Have to admit I didn't think DeBlasio would bring Ebola to New York until at least his third year in office
— Spencer Ackerman (@attackerman) October 24, 2014
Lots of subway jokes:
Let's be real. There are worse things on the L train than Ebola.
— lydia woolever (@llyydddzz) October 24, 2014
Possible ebola on the subway is still better than the showtime breakdancers
— Desus Nice (@desusnice) October 24, 2014
Much more concerned about bedbugs on the N line. Modern science can treat Ebola.
— traci e. carpenter (@traciecarpenter) October 24, 2014
New Yorkers, you have more to fear from touching a pole on the L train than you do from #Ebola.
— Rob Tannenbaum (@tannenbaumr) October 24, 2014
NYC tomorrow pic.twitter.com/fMwecbuY8Q
— Elliott Schwartz (@elliosch) October 24, 2014
— Linzzy Borden (@lindsaygoldwert) October 24, 2014
The NYC Ebola patient went for a 3 mile jog yesterday so someone with Ebola is more committed to their fitness than I am
— Leslie Grossman (@MissLeslieG) October 24, 2014
Really the only part of Ebola guy that upsets me is how rich his social life seems in comparison.
— Barry Petchesky (@barryap1) October 24, 2014
This Ebola doctor visited more places in NYC while in “self isolation” than I ever have on a Saturday when I’m feeling energetic
— EJOELA (@joelcifer) October 24, 2014
i feel like we should be worried when the Post isn't punning
— Jen Carlson (@jenist) October 24, 2014
— Seinfeld Current Day (@Seinfeld2000) October 24, 2014
More people have married Rush Limbaugh than have gotten Ebola, but Ebola has a much higher survival rate.
— Adam Wolf (@AdamWolf77) October 24, 2014
Ebola's publicist is doing a good job.
— Judah Friedlander (@JudahWorldChamp) October 24, 2014
And finally, the funniest tweet of them all:
Ebola has been confirmed in N.Y.C., with officials frantically trying to find all of the people and things he had contact with.Obama's fault
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) October 24, 2014