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- Nets coach Jason Kidd has been suspended two games for a DUI, and will miss the first game of the season.
- The Huffington Post has its own testicle-eating fish now, because The Huffington Post is basically a James Bond villain at this point.
- Meet the woman who voices Siri, aka the woman whose voice lives in your phone.
- An emotionally disturbed blind man sat on the subway tracks at a Brooklyn station Friday morning in an apparent suicide attempt.
- Gravity thinkpiece that terrifies us: what is the best way to die in space?
- Pennsylvania's governor thinks that gay marriage is like incest, because he is a stupid person.
- BatDad is back with more kooky Vine adventures.
- Stephen Colbert married a couple whose plans to get hitched this Saturday on the steps of the Jefferson Memorial were ruined by the shutdown.
- Naming rights for the Washington Square Arch are not up for grabs.
- Check out the teaser trailer for the new Godzilla movie (while you can!).
- And finally, listen to the might roar of the white lion cub:
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