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  • The inimitable Fran Lebowitz talked to the New Yorker about coronavirus, perma-isolating and hating Michael Bloomberg: “For at least twenty years, I have been dreaming of the time there were no tourists in Times Square,” she said glumly. “Now there are no tourists in Times Square, but, of course, there’s no one in Times Square.”
  • Dr. Anthony Fauci doesn't think people should shake hands anymore, even after the pandemic is over: “I don’t think we should ever shake hands ever again, to be honest with you,” he said. “Not only would it be good to prevent coronavirus disease; it probably would decrease instances of influenza dramatically in this country.”
  • The Times looked at what's happening in Queens, NYC's epicenter for the virus: "Health care workers and community leaders say it is indisputable that the pandemic has disproportionately affected the Hispanic day laborers, restaurant workers and cleaners who make up the largest share of the population in an area often celebrated as one of the most diverse places on earth."
  • Jimmy Fallon spoke to Vulture about creating comedy during the quarantine, having his daughters on the show, and the responsibility of distracting people at a dark time: “You’re in this business, and you just kind of—okay, cowboy up. Buck up, and go, Yeah, this is the time when people need you to be funny.”
  • Here's a headline that might be of interest to you today: "The Three Equations for a Happy Life, Even During a Pandemic."
  • NYC has halted design work on city-backed projects for the foreseeable future, even though "design work can be performed safely indoors, and there are several planning hurdles builders must complete before a project can move forward."
  • Charlotte Figi, the girl whose search for a treatment for her severe epilepsy helped spark the medicinal CBD movement, has died of what is probably coronavirus. She was 13.
  • What do you do if you break your iPhone during the pandemic?
  • Stephen Colbert snagged the first interview with Bernie Sanders after he dropped out.
  • During a press conference about the pandemic and the dire state of the country, the NY Post took that opportunity to ask Donald Trump whether he would consider pardoning Joe Exotic.
  • Trump and Republicans think absentee voting is a fraud unless it's their voters doing it: "The coronavirus poses a threat to elections in general, but a special threat to urban voters, who tend to face more crowded polling stations."
  • Phoebe Bridgers released a new song and announced her sophomore album Punisher will come out June 19th.
  • And finally, Peanut is a nihilist: