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- Madonna really doesn't want you to smoke at her concerts, and she'll stop the show to berate you and guilt trip you about it if she needs to.
- Existential cat is back to lament the holiday season.
- Former Gov. David Paterson's radio show has been dropped.
- Watch the trailer for the Apocalypse-themed comedy, This Is The End, starring literally every actor who has appeared in an Apatow film.
- A Texas man caught a UPS driver on video stealing an iPad that had just been delivered by a FedEx driver.
- Lindsay Lohan reportedly refused to kiss her benefactor, Charlie Sheen, while filming Scary Movie 5, because kissing is icky.
- A very naughty Santa was fired after he started to tell kids about the Newtown school shootings, revealed Santa isn't real.
- This is not an Onion headline: the BBC reports that a man "overdosed" on brussel sprouts.
- Listen to "My Favorite Things" in lots of other languages.
- Is it really a coincidence that alien skulls were found in Mexico right around the time of the Mayan Apocalypse?
- And finally, this cat is either really scared of, or really dedicated to, the Super Mario Brothers jump sound affect: