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- The United States is facing a poop crisis.
- If you want to be taken seriously in 2014, you should dress like a two-year-old.
- Jurors feel bad for the Williamsburg resident who made over 400 phony calls to 911 over the hipster hordes in his neighborhood.
- Four firefighters were injured while trying to complete the Ice Bucket Challenge.
- An Atlanta school district is attempting to remove a teacher for, among other things, playing students the Beyonce song "Drunk in Love."
- Longtime showrunner Al Jean offered a possible idea as to how The Simpsons could end.
- A 100-year-old sex therapist thinks work is ruining our sex lives.
- Perhaps she should talk to these older ladies who love gang bangs.
- The NY Times temps fate by invoking the Pleasant Weather Gods.
- What does Gwyneth Paltrow think of Chris Martin dating Jennifer Lawrence? "Her take is, 'Hey, he could do worse.'"
- And finally, there is a war between puppies and door knobs:
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