- Follow Gothamist on Twitter and like us on Facebook. You can also get the top stories mailed to you—sign up here.
- For the first time ever, The Simpsons were not nominated for a Best Animation Emmy.
- Everything's coming up Rosie (O'Donnell), with news that she's returning to The View.
- Um, an Argentinian soccer player says he "tore his anus" making a save in yesterday's game.
- You probably won't feel good about your appearance until you're over 65.
- J. Crew has debuted a new clothing size, 000, made for a 23-inch waist.
- If you're getting a celebrity chef's name tattooed on your butt, at least double check the spelling.
- Please someone get me these sloth rings for my birthday!
- Millennials will totally screw over their colleagues for a job promotion or something.
- And finally, some fledgling hawks practice their hunting techniques in Tompkins Square Park:

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