Good Wednesday morning in New York City, where spritz and chips season has arrived. Here's what else is happening:

  • Mayor Eric Adams says he believes in second chances, which is why he's given top jobs in his administration to people who, in the past, have held homophobic or anti-Semitic stances or been convicted of drug trafficking.
  • New York is one of only 13 states that designates pets as "property" rather than "sentient beings," a rule that pet-lovers say has enabled vets to mistreat or even kill animals with minimal consequences.
  • A Queens sex worker has pleaded guilty to fatally drugging four customers as part of a scheme to rob them when they were incapacitated.
  • Yankees first baseman Anthony Rizzo hit three home runs last night. (The Yankees also won 12-8 over the Orioles.)
  • CNN+ merch has joined the ranks of other covetable items like Enron mugs and Fyre Fest t-shirts.
  • Stocks are struggling.
  • For the past couple decades, the unofficial mascot of the RISD hockey team has been a giant penis named Scrotie, designed by none other than the guy who went on to found Airbnb.
  • An 88-year-old Bernie Sanders supporter from North Pole, Alaska, whose legal name is Santa Claus, is running against Sarah Palin in an upcoming congressional race, and it's not inconceivable that he'd win.
  • Condolences to Vanna White, whose cat died.
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  • And finally, dog you had one job: