Early Addition: Astronomers Capture First Ever Photo Of A Black Hole

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  • For the first time ever, astronomers have captured a picture of a black hole, which looks just like the eye of Sauron, or a donut, mmmm donuts.
  • It sounds like the NY Times was listening to some dank Pink Floyd when they wrote about the black hole: "Nobody knows how such behemoths of nothingness could have been assembled. Dense wrinkles in the primordial energies of the Big Bang? Monster runaway stars that collapsed and swallowed up their surroundings in the dawning years of the universe? Nor do scientists know what ultimately happens to whatever falls into a black hole, nor what forces reign at the center, where according to the math we know now the density approaches infinity and smoke pours from God’s computer."
  • Candace Owens was ridiculed for her comments on Hitler when she testified before the House Judiciary Committee on white nationalism at the invitation of GOP lawmakers.
  • Steve Mnuchin acted like a snotty, entitled little weenie in an exchange with House Financial Services Chair Maxine Waters.
  • The New Yorker has a powerful, difficult piece on the emotional toll of cancer.
  • Two Halal street vendors got into a turf war at Hudson Yards which ended with one of them allegedly slashing the other.
  • Warner Bros. shutdown a Trump 2020 campaign video for "unauthorized" use of the score from The Dark Knight Rises.
  • Headline of the day: "Florida man threatens to destroy everyone with army of turtles."
  • Beatrice, a French bulldog, attempts to find true love on a colorful game show in the surreal music video for Panda Bear's "Buoys."
  • At the very least, spiral-cut ham is certainly the most erotic of cold cuts.
  • Would anybody notice if Staten Island seceded from the city?
  • Magic Johnson abruptly stepped down as Lakers president in a very memorable press conference.
  • And finally, in 10 years, this mighty kitty will be your boss:

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