A Brooklyn man filed a $5 million federal lawsuit against Match.com yesterday, accusing the dating site of teasing users with profiles of "canceled subscribers or [ones who] never subscribed at all." As a result, Match sparked an inferno of "humiliation and disappointment" for 37-year-old user Sean McGinn, whose lawsuit argues that "Match's policy causes severe emotional distress and anxiety for some [subscribers], including those who keep writing e-mails to one member after another and never hear back because he/she is writing to people who've canceled... Because the writer has no way of knowing this, he or she may experience profound personal anguish, suffering which is easily preventable by Match."

Unfortunately, the lawsuit seems to let Match off the hook for causing halitosis and male-pattern baldness. But it further alleges that "Match induces canceled members to log in... creating the appearance that inactive members are active" by sending bogus BlackBerry notifications that read, "Someone has winked back at you." And then you futilely "wink" back again and again into a frigid, soulless void, until finally breaking down and sobbing so loudly your roommate has to bang on your bedroom wall.

McGinn's aptly-named attorney Norah Hart says she has 15 other frustrated singles ready to turn this into a class action lawsuit, telling the Daily News, "They are left feeling they've been completely ignored and rejected. For some people, it could affect their romantic future." Ironically, Hart also tells the Post that McGinn "met someone he's happy with" through Match, which costs $39.99 a month and claims 86 million searches monthly in the U.S. And back in 2005, another lonely heart sued Match for allegedly "sending ringers on fake dates with lonely hearts to keep them from dumping the service."