The JetBlue redeye from Portland to JFK made a strong bid for Worst Flight Ever yesterday, when a drunk 18-year-old boy allegedly peed all over a 11 year-old girl in her seat, which did not go over well with her father. Oh, and then someone puked.

Robert Vietze managed to down eight (!) alcoholic drinks before "stumbling from his seat" five rows behind the girl, who was sleeping when Vietze took it upon himself to treat her as the lavatory. The girl's father, who had temporarily left the girl to use the actual lavatory, returned and caught Vietze "midstream." He promptly started screaming, according to a witness, yelling "Fuck that kid!" and "looking like he was about to punch this kid in the face." Kindly flight attendants intervened and moved Vietze to the back of the plane.

But the fun wasn't over yet! A few hours later, another passenger, complaining of chest pains, thew up all over himself. The crew spent the remainder of the flight trying desperately to clean the place up, "raiding the liquid soap container." Ew. Upon landing, Vietze was greeted by four cops and issued a federal summons for indecent exposure. Just send him to Jersey City—he'll fit right in!