A Facebook friend of mine pointed out today that this election is more of an October advent calendar than an October Surprise, and woo boy, is he right. Less than 24 hours after the Washington Post dropped a Pussy Bomb, CNN published 17 years worth of lewd Howard Stern/Donald Trump interviews.

Nuggets include Trump calling his daughter Ivanka "voluptuous"; telling Stern it's cool to call Ivanka a "piece of ass"; describing how he used to go backstage at the Miss Universe pageant to see all the contestants naked; and assuring Stern that he would never let an educated woman into the pageant over a hot one. It's a pretty big news drop—but don't worry, Republicans, Trump's never dropping out!

Like a herpes virus, Trump will both live inside you forever and flare up unexpectedly. #MAGA! (Make America Grope Again!)

Anyway, here's Trump talking about Ivanka in 2006, per CNN:

In an October 2006 interview, Stern remarks that Ivanka "looks more voluptuous than ever," and asked if she had gotten breast implants. Trump is willing to engage in the discussion about his own daughter, telling Stern that she did not get implants. "She's actually always been very voluptuous," Trump responds. "She's tall, she's almost 6 feet tall and she's been, she's an amazing beauty."

And here he is in 2004:

Stern asks Trump if he can call Ivanka "a piece of ass," to which Trump responds in the affirmative. "My daughter is beautiful, Ivanka," says Trump. "By the way, your daughter," says Stern. "She's beautiful," responds Trump. "Can I say this? A piece of ass," Stern responds. "Yeah," says Trump.

Here he is in 1997 talking about banging women of color:

In the same interview, Stern also asked Trump, "Have you had a black women in bed?" "Well, it depends on what your definition of black is," responded Trump. "Interesting. I like this discussion. His bed is a rainbow," Stern said. "The rainbow coalition, as Rev. Jesse would say," Trump said.

And here he is in 2005, discussing how smart women are total boner-killers:


Later in the episode, Stern asks Trump to assure his audience that "the chicks will be almost naked" at his pageant, saying to Trump that before he bought the contest, "they were starting to take women who were educated over women who were hot."
"They had a person who was extremely proud that a number of the women had become doctors," Trump explained. "And I wasn't interested."
He continued, "I actually went on the 'Today Show' with Katie Couric a while ago, six years ago, and we had a woman running the pageant who was really into the whole thing of education and everything and I said, 'Look, if you're looking for a rocket scientist, don't turn in tonight. But if you're looking for a really beautiful woman, you should watch.'"

Sad! Meanwhile, Trump's actual human wife, Melania Trump, released a statement about the earlier leaked Washington Post audio, in which Trump said, among other things, that he liked to "grab [women] by the pussy."

"The words my husband used are unacceptable and offensive to me. This does not represent the man that I know. He has the heart and mind of a leader," her statement read. "I hope people will accept his apology, as I have, and focus on the important issues facing our nation and the world."

And Nancy O'Dell, an Entertainment Tonight host whom Trump describes in the leaked Washington Post tape trying—and failing—to seduce while she was married, released a statement regarding his comments on the tape:

Politics aside, I’m saddened that these comments still exist in our society at all. When I heard the comments yesterday, it was disappointing to hear such objectification of women. The conversation needs to change because no female, no person, should be the subject of such crass comments, whether or not cameras are rolling. Everyone deserves respect no matter the setting or gender. As a woman who has worked very hard to establish her career, and as a mom, I feel I must speak out with the hope that as a society we will always strive to be better.

Trump allegedly tried to have O'Dell fired after she rejected him, ostensibly because he didn't like how she looked when she was pregnant (no way wounded pride had anything to do with it!)

A number of GOP leaders have called for Trump to step down, but he hates pulling out, and told the Times today that he would "never drop out of this race in a million years."

"I haven’t heard from anyone saying I should drop out, and that would never happen, never happen. That’s not the kind of person I am. I am in this until the end."

Guess you're gonna have to carry this one to term, huh, GOP?