Hillary Clinton has been lost in the woods for the last two months, but that hasn't stopped President-elect Donald Trump from talking and tweeting about her whenever his feelings are hurt. Early this morning, the man who will receive our nuclear codes in exactly one week took to his literal bully pulpit to tweetstorm about the Department of Justice's investigation into FBI director James Comey's Clinton email probe, and for someone who apparently won the election "easily" and "in a landslide" he seemed a little...defensive.

While I agree it would behoove the Democrats to spend more time focusing on the demographic reasons they lost and less time blaming Russia and Comey, it is certainly suspect that the FBI director made such an unprecedented move—releasing a letter announcing he was renewing the investigation into Clinton's private email server, as you might recall—about a week before a presidential election. It's even more suspect that Rudy "My stamina is unbelievable" Giuliani knew about the renewed investigation before it was announced, or so he's intimated.

Either way, though, Trump just can't quit Hillary—who, according to the aforementioned FBI investigation, is NOT "guilty as hell," but why quibble? Trump brought her up a few times at his press conference on Wednesday, going on about "all of the horrible things that her people, like [former chairman John] Podesta" said about her in his hacked emails (NPR fact-checked that one and found no "horrible things" about Hillary in the leaked trove) and then went on about how the Clinton campaign got tipped off about a question in a primary debate, which, fine, but the election's over!

His surrogates are also still stuck on Hillary—in a heated interview with Anderson Cooper this week, Kellyanne Conway went on about how "CNN and BuzzFeed have a lot in common" because "you both were absolutely convinced and told all of your viewers that Hillary Clinton was going to win this election,"—as if that's the only reason an outlet would report on the possibility that the future President of the United States was compromised by a hostile foreign nation.

So why is Trump still stuck on Hillary? Does he have a crush?

For a long time, Clinton served as Trump's foil—he could divert attention to her any time something went wrong, and he could use her shortcomings to hide his own. Without her, the heat is on him and him alone. The Wall Street Journal reports that Trump's approval rating is at a meager 41 percent, as opposed to Obama's approval rating of 67 percent at his inauguration in 2009. Even George W. Bush, who also entered into office having lost the popular vote, had an approval rating of 49 percent, and for someone as thin-skinned and desperate as Trump, the knowledge that most Americans hate his dumb stupid face must be eating away at his organs. Sad!

Unfortunately, Trump's security blankie is his Twitter account, and now we must all witness his anxiety attacks in real time. In addition to Trump's little Hillary freakout, the future leader of the free world tweeted about how awesome his transition has been (even though most Americans disapprove of that, too), and addressed the "phony allegations" that he's been compromised by Russia because they have video of him watching prostitutes pee on a bed.

FAKE NEWS! Not as fake as the "extremely credible source" that confirmed to Trump that Obama's birth certificate "was a fraud," but phony allegations are only phony when you're lobbing them against a white president, right?

One. Fucking. Week.