Hi, hello, and welcome to our website, I hear you're interested in adopting a small pup? With facial hair to match your own, maybe? Just a tiny potato with the mustache of a man thrice her age? Wonderful, congratulations, we've got just the canine companion for you. She currently resides in Dallas, Texas, but her adoption agency—Hearts & Bones, which has bases here and in Dallas —will soon be accepting applications in New York City.

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Please, look at this dog. (Hearts & Bones/Facebook)

Let me tell you more about our latest fur friend. Dallas Animal Services rescued Mustache Puppy, her siblings, and her mother when the puppies were just two weeks old, transferring them to Hearts & Bones to minimize the puppies' risk of infection. She is one of 11 in her litter, and at five weeks old, already sports an impressive, inky handlebar. She also has a toupee-like splotch on her crown that recalls a head of luxuriant chestnut hair, a striking contrast against her pudgy milk bod. Stare into her small shiny eyes and tell me you're not bowled over by her laid-back demeanor. I mean, just watch her chillax all the way through her intro video: As shelter volunteers parade her family for the camera, Mustache Puppy just hangs out in a hand, blinking around with the placid smile of the pleasantly stoned. (Which I'm sure Mustache Puppy isn't, but for comparison's sake.)

Mustache Puppy's real name is Salvador Dolly, a nod to heavily mustachioed Surrealist painter Salvador Dali, but she is young enough that if you were to change her name to, for example, Sam Elliott, she'd probably still respond without any problems. Personally, I prefer that choice, but Dali's mustache was actually black and curled upwards just like this dog baby's, so I can see your point.

What else is there to say about Mustache Puppy? Although her style of 'stache suggests she recently got her mixology certification and wants to make you a cocktail that's classic-yet-"unexpected" (and turns out to be a Manhattan), she's a dog and therefore, she won't! Nor will she wear an ironic tweed vest, unless of course you make her, in which case I can't help you.

Hearts & Bones head of marketing Allison Seelig tells Gothamist that the puppies' foster mom describes Mustache Puppy as "the naughtiest" and "a bit of an escape artist," apparently inclined to jailbreak herself from the kiddie pool where the pups are currently flopping around. And, Seelig adds:

Dolly and all of her siblings are super playful and sweet young pups who spend their days wrestling with each other and falling asleep in a puppy pile. They will literally fall asleep in the middle of playing—it's all kinds of adorable. And of course, their mom is just AMAZING! She was so sweet from the moment we entered the shelter and really loves to get pets and cuddles. She's doing an incredible job raising 11 babies, it's a lot of work!

Because they're little taters, though, Mustache Puppy and her litter mates (click through for photos of them) cannot go to their forever homes quite yet. She will be available for NYC adoption in late August, according to Hearts & Bones, and in the meantime, you can check out the website for information on adoptions applications, donations, and fostering.