Used properly, the Freedom of Information Law offers the public a crucial window into the inner workings of government activities. According to State's Committee on Open Government: "The legislature therefore declares that government is the public's business and that the public, individually and collectively and represented by a free press, should have access to the records of government in accordance with the provisions of this article."

Can you FOIL your cheating spouse? The whereabouts of your "very valuable jade"? Technically, yes? Will it work? Not...so much, no.

The city's "FOIL portal" was created for the ostensible purpose of shining a light into the machinations of the government. Occasionally, it works! Often, it doesn't. Many of the cases in which the government fails to turn over the requested information feel like intentional obfuscation. But then, as the Post reports today, other requests aren't exactly the government's purview.

“I think my wife is cheating on me. I need an I-phone FOIL (to catch her)” one man wrote.

“If the super-volcano underneath Yellowstone National Park ever had another massive eruption, it could spew ash for thousands of miles across the United States," another began.

“Only the mayor can solve mayor problems. Mr. Deblasio is now mayor and I am requesting a meeting with him personally.” Right.

Meanwhile, we continue to await an answer to our FOIL request on how many of our FOIL requests have been shredded and used for confetti.