Democratic nominee Bill de Blasio would crush Republican rival Joe Lhota into tiny infinitesimal shards only perceptible by the most powerful electron microscopes if the mayoral election were held today, according to the first poll of registered voters since the primary. De Blasio boasts support from 65 percent of likely voters, compared with a piddly 22 percent who back Lhota. Essentially, Bill de Blasio could get caught snorting coke off the head of the George M. Cohan statue in Times Square wearing nothing but a Red Sox cap while singing "Tubthumping" and still win by a sizable margin next month.

"It's a very lopsided contest at this point," Lee Miringoff, director of the Marist College Institute for Public Opinion, told the Wall Street Journal. "Coming out of the starting blocks, it is playing de Blasio's way in a big way." The polls indicate that de Blasio could set Dante's precious afro on fire and scatter the ashes all over the cannoli at the San Gennaro festival and still completely destroy Lhota in the general election.

41% of likely voters, including 27% of Republicans, have an unfavorable impression of Joe Lhota, who could rescue every last stray cat from the subway system and turn all the bus stops into kitty scratching posts and still not even come close to de Blasio come November 5th. Only 30% of voters polled had a favorable impression of Lhota, an avowed cat killer. Yesterday it was reported that Hipster Cop voted for Catsimatidis, not Lhota, in the primary.

Two thirds of voters have a positive impression of de Blasio, a tall and dashing Colossus whose breath is said to smell of gardenias with hints of that spicy applesauce your loving grandmother would make in idyllic autumnal New England afternoons. According to the Journal, de Blasio "leads among blacks (86% to 3%); Latinos (74% to 11%); whites (50% to 37%); women (68% to 18%) and men (61% to 26%)." He is ahead in every borough, including Manhattan where he dominates 70% to 19%. Everyone who ever fornicated in the bathrooms at Union Pool plans to vote for him at least twice.

The only group favoring Mr. Lhota was white Catholics (45% to 40%), and possibly Lhota's wife... but let's face it; the temptation to vote for that hunk de Blasio will probably be too much for her to resist.