Two men were stabbed in the East Village this morning after one allegedly refused to pay a hooker for services rendered. Police say the incident happened around 5:40 a.m. Monday in an apartment building on E. 6th Street. Since there were seemingly no witnesses other than the two men involved in the incident, police of course turned to the only man who could possibly help them crack the case: actor David Schwimmer. This is what The Rembrandts always meant when they sang, "I'll be there for you/ When the violent criminals start to stab."

According to the Post, the stabbing took place in a first floor apartment next to a building owner by Schwimmer—Schwimmer spent $4 million for 331 E. 6th Street in 2010 (he hasn't exactly been the most popular guy around the neighborhood ever since). Apparently, Schwimmer installed some surveillance cameras, which captured part of the fight; in addition, chef Billy Dec of Rockit Ranch restaurants was staying in the building at the time, and was being picked up for a "Today Show" appearance as the fight spilled out into the neighboring building's lobby.

So between the surveillance footage and talking to Dec’s limo driver, who was waiting outside at the time, police believe that the 26-year-old stabbing victim had refused to pay the prostitute for his services. The 21-year-old prostitute then took the man's computer, and this resulted in both men stabbing each other in the hallway.

The 26-year-old was treated for slashes to the face at Bellevue Hospital, while the 21-year-old was treated for slashes to the arm at Beth Israel Medical Center. Charges for both men are currently pending. As for Schwimmer, this was all in a day's work for the only friend the police really need.